Hi emky,
It's hard to talk to family about how bad it feels alot of times. My family don't really know how badly I feel or even that I have moderate depression. I've taken xanax for about little over a month for my panic/anxeity attacks. But as I started opening up to God, I decided I didn't want to be dependent on any medication. Which is the same reason I'm fighting so hard not to take anything for my depression. It's been a hard battle after battle. And I don't know if I'm even winning. But I know I'm not loosing.
I read in one chapter of a book I'm currently reading which said, "you have the power to control what you think." It seems so.. obvious yet.. suprising. Ever since I read that sentence, every time I get negative or painfull thoughts, I repeat that line. Then I force myself to think about something else which might make me happy or a task I need to get accomplished. Before I know it, the bad thoughts have fled my mind for the time being. I'm not saying it would work for everyone. But I just wanted to share something that has worked for me and hope that it might help some of you out there as well.
I think it's best to let out your feelings one way or another. Most people let it out by talking about it. Some people hold themselves back at times because they feel like they're just "whinning". But it's not. Even if it is, so what? We're in pain and if "whinning" is what's needed to help us get better, why not?
I don't think I've been much help to you. But I hope you take in some comfort in knowing there are people out there that understands your pain and frustration.