I went out today with my mom and my kiddo. We took the bus (I have a fear of taking the bus) and all went well. We got off downtown and went to the public library to get some books. All went well. Then the kiddo was hungry and wanted something with fries, so we headed to the restaurant. But he was tired of walking and his feet hurt. And we had forgotten the stroller… So we got him to walk to the restaurant slowly and manage to get to there restaurant. Until then, I felt so good! I felt brave and strong and very proud of myself.
Then we sat down in the restaurant and ordered our food. But the restaurant felt noisy and I quickly began to panic. I had to take a clonazepam so I didn't have a full-blown panic attack. I was no fun for my mom at lunch because I was quiet and just trying to stay calm. Then we decided to take the taxi home so the baby wouldn't have to walk.
I was supposed to go by bus, do the library, do the restaurant, come back by bus and all that without extra anxiety meds…
Now, instead of feeling proud of myself, I feel like a lame failure. I had to resort to pills and cabs...
