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My goal for today was to freeze some meat in freezer bags. This time I rolled veal cutlets, since I've been messy some times, as I try to make a flat frozen piece in a bag. If the piece is perfectly flat, there's less risk of bacteria being spilt. My theory is that if the thawed pieces come out in a roll, I could roll it into the oven on a grill, and cook it. The microwave hasn't worked for weeks, and I can't find the receipt for a claim, since my insurance would cover it, but it's another day's goal to try to look at the probable cause - a loose cord - and fix it.
to be honest, I am not sure how to reward myself. It's like my way of rewarding myself is to give myself the right to evade my feelings through distractions like movies and such...
Thank you Davit for answering me and giving me food for thought.
Up to now, today I met two of my goals.
I took an anxiety pill but not before noon. I haven'T used another one yet either.
I also did the dishes to the best of my abilities. There are still things soaking in the sink but I did most of it. I just have to wait for the tough stuff to soak and I can finish up.
I haven't gone outside today yet. Still working on it.
Too many pills, they are blocking rational thought. I found at a certain point the panic got worse because I couldn't think straight.
So look at the facts. There is no reason you will have another panic attack other than you have set yourself up to have one. So accept the possibility but remember it is you that is going to cause it or not. Fact 2. You have always survived them no matter how bad they are. I know some one who calls panic attacks mental Diarrhoea. She says it is unpleasant but does pass. After she keeps one eye open for the signs of return, just like she would for Diarrhoea, but goes about her day like it won't happen. If it does she accepts it and rides it out. It seldom happens. Accepting them when they happen does shorten them. A panic attack has to have a reason to shut down. You can give it that reason by accepting it is happening and also telling yourself it doesn't belong. Your mind needs to hear you say it doesn't belong. Just like it needs to hear you say there is no logical reason to have another one other than you think you will.
Fact three. The symptoms associated with a panic arrack come from memory and are based on previous ones If you have another take the focus off the fear and put it on the symptoms. Question why the symptoms. If they don't belong, put that fact into memory. Here is what I did. I would grab a blanket because I was cold. I'd sit on the toilet because it felt like I had to then I'd count just slower than my pulse and try to match my pulse to the count. I'd accept I didn't need the toilet. If I was still cold, I'd keep the blanket and as a distraction I'd go make a cup of tea. As a distraction I'd wash a cup even if it didn't need it. This is because it takes time for the pill I took at the beginning of the attack to work. Usually 15 minutes. Just one pill, more won't help. That would be 1mg of Ativan or 2-5 mg Diazepam or equivalent other pill. You must wait 30 minutes from onset of the panic before taking another or you will put the focus on that the first isn't working and then the second won't either. It will make you worse. When the panic starts to go, say "I won". This is important because you did win. Keep the focus off the panic that just happened.
So now you have a maybe situation. Maybe you will have another, maybe you won't. Maybe, not I will. Remember this is only a relapse not a permanent situation.
What are your coping skills? You need to review them.
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