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Hi April,
You sound like you are taking a very positive approach to your driving. I know that I still have the odd bad day or drive but for the most part I think I am ok.
You will be posting what a piece of cake driving is before you know it with out a pounding heart. I most important thing that I have learned is that the nightmare does eventually end.
I also watched Dr. Phil and it helped a lot. I realized the reason for my fear is my fear of getting lost. I don't fear accidents or anything else like that. I have a very bad sense of direction and I'm terrified of not knowing where I am. I don't fear driving if I am following someone or I've been to the same place before.
Also, I must tell you that I ventured out! I went to a new mall and rewarded myself with jeans. :)
What Dr. Phil said that helped me is that you believe what you tell yourself. So, I kept reminding myself of every time I've been lost in the past because I've been able to find my way again. Although I arrived at the mall shaking and heart pounding - the important thing to me was "I arrived!"
Michelle and Dianne, Thank you. You both have made so much progress since your first messages and you are inspiring me.
Hi Michelle, Hi April
I am so happy for you Michelle. You sound just like me. It has been getting easier. I watched Dr Phil when he was talking about fear and I agree so much with what he said, it's not the fear of driving that scares me, it's the horrible thoughts I replay over and over in my head that scares me. I am in control when I'm driving, I'm also in control of my thoughts. I now know how to contol my thoughts versus my thoughts controling me. I feel like a person now. Someone with a life finally. April you will do it, and it will become easier as you drive.Keep telling yourself over and over as you drive, I can do this, I'm Okay, and you will do Okay. Michelle you go girl. We can beat this I have more positive thoughts right now , I just can't believe how good that feels. Take care, will talk to you all soon.
Diane :)
Hi Dianne and April,
All is well with the driving. I have been driving every day with the boys with this sport and that event. I don't seem to mind now. I think you are right Dianne, that the more you drive the more comfortable it becomes.
April I can say that it has been this site that has helped me on those days that the night mare just seems not to end. For me it is like a dose of reality that life realy is not as bad as I feel some days.
Thanks,
Michelle
Hi April, welcome. Hi Michelle How are you doing? I'm good. My driving is going great. I drove in Rain today and did fine. Husband is gone to Japan on business, so no rides for 10 days. I'm really starting to get more comfortable as time goes by. The cleaning of frost off the car in the morning is something I really really hate. Winter is coming and I'm not looking forward to it. How's it been going with you??
April. You will love being here. It really helped me out a lot when I found this sight. Your driving will get easier as time goes by. Will talk to you all soon take Care.
Diane :)
I didn't know that there were other people out there like me. My fear of driving has been with me my whole life - I waited until I was 18 to get my license and I did then because my parents forced me too. I'm 26, married, and am slowly, but surely driving. I even joked to my parents that I was going to marry quick so I could have a free driver - only I wasn't really joking.
We moved to our current location 3 years ago and I just recently feel like I have my section of the city down pretty well. I don't venture outside that, but I am working on it and trying to build myself up to actually go into the "downtown".
I'm not a bad driver or even an overly cautious driver - I just really hate it. I'm glad to *sort of* meet all of you. I know this will help me.
asterie,
It sounds like a very smart way of approaching driving. I know that my thearapist had me find my safe places too. Which did help. I never had to use them either. Mabey it was just knowing that they were there helped.
I have had great success in driving now. It took some time but I guess I just keep putting myself in to situations that I would have to drive.
After each time that I was able to do it, I felt great. Maybe it was the need for myself to feel like I could do it.
I am glad to say that I drive every day and it does not matter where I have to drive to. I am sure though the major factor was my boys. I did not want them to become the parents but stay the kids. I grew up being the parent for my parents and know that it is not fair for kids to have to grow up too fast.
great advise though.
Michelle
I used to be terrified of driving. I' m okay now if the
ride is no longer than 30 min.
Here's what I did:
Go out and practice. Do not drive when you must
because there is added pressure. Drive until on a
scale of 1-10 your anxiety is a 3. Do not scare
yourself. Then, return home. Have a "safe" person
follow you if that helps. Have them gradually lag
further behind or meet them somewhere. Use a
cell phone if contact helps.
If the highway bothers you, only drive one exit. Get
off and relax. Return home. Go further distances in
a planned fashion. Know where there are places
off the highway that are safe and comfortable to
stop at. For some people, it is a secluded spot, for
me it was a place with people.
Try to stop focusing on your racing heart or other
symptoms. Look ahead and notice the trees,
houses, new buildings. Play the radio if noise
helps. Distract yourself.
Realize you can be uncomfortable for a short
period of time. Make it short. Again, do not go so far
that you scare yourself and can't return. Have a
backup person who knows you are "practicing" and
can come get you if it is becomes too much.
Congratulate yourself if you do well and give
yourself a break if you panic. It is okay to be afraid.
You are doing something new. Never berate
yourself.
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