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I'm feeling a little better today. But I've been in bed since Friday night. I used to have half a dozen jobs so had to work weekends too but I quit some 6 weeks ago so now I have weekends off. But I stay in bed whenever I am not working. It's hard to get access to this website so I don't read every day. But I will try to read some. I find it very helpful. Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so uncomfortable. It sounds like your physical symptoms are a huge challenge! I am very impressed you are coming here to post and trying to read through the program. That in itself is a big success! It sounds like you are being a bit hard on yourself for being depressed though and that cannot help the situation. Being depressed often can have nothing to do with your life circumstances. Even people with seemingly everything they could hope for in life still struggle with depression. I hope you can start to work on forgiving yourself for being depressed. As I feel this can only be making things harder for you.
On the theme of being easy on yourself, perhaps you can plan on reading only a page or two a day of the program? What goal would you be comfortable with? Setting small goals will help you to get started and will lesson the guilt a bit. Remember, depression is a real health problem, it is not your fault and it will take small, consistent steps to get you back to where you want to be. We will be here very step of the way. You are not in this alone.
I have been here before and got at least half way through the program, feel better, and go back to life. Yet, here I am again, worse than ever. I'm in such pain, everything hurts. I'm dizzy and so tired I think I will faint. It doesn't go away. I'm anxious driving for fear I will just drive right off the road. My wrists hurt, my head hurts, the light is too bright, my stomach hurts, my throat....argh. I am trying to read the lessons over again but even that is hard to do. I was hoping all this would be over. I seem to get a bit better but then I go down even further. I'm so tired of being so tired. If I had a bad life in a war-torn country I could forgive myself for feeling so depressed. But I live in a country with a great standard of living. I'm not rich but I have food, clothes and shelter. I have no reason to feel so unhappy.
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