Welcome Volucris ... glad you found this place. I remember being your age, not being taken seriously ("What do you have to be depressed about Sandy? You are young!"). It sucks. Having unstable parents is tough. Not unusual, though ... this whole depression thing seems to run in families. The counsellors here would know more about that, but seems that if you shake the family tree of a depressive a couple more depressives fall out. As for not worrying your friends, I get that too. My best friend at 18 told me I was "moody" and "difficult". Uh huh, thanks a bunch. If you share with the folks here, I'm sure you'll find some great support. One thing about depression is that it doesn't care about gender, age, orientation, nationality ... we all get an equal shot of the miserables regardless of who we are. I've found that CBT works wonders. Not easy, Volucris, but then neither is being depressed. I've found it worth the work. Working the sessions (even though I've been through this kind of therapy before) is a huge help. Meeting folks here who understand is also a big help. Hope you find the same! Happy New Year to ya!

Hi volucris, I have been depressive since my teen years as well. I hid my sick (bi-polar father, mentally handicapped mother) parents and my life from everone as you have been doing. There is a such thing as confidentiality so if you need it you have a right to request it ... guidiance counsellors and nurses at high schools and cegeps ... depending on where you are (countries) as of 16 yrs you are considered responsible enough to care for your health (contraception, etc). So if you need help you can care for yourself. It took me many years to get the right mix for help; information/education, medication, and therapie. But I think that had I started earlier I might have been able to appreciate some experiences more. I do not regret the choises I made, I only wish I had had more information when I made them... I had youth services remove me from my parents' responsibility when I was 17 in order to go to school and begin healng myself... Volucris, People who are depressed have a chemical imbalance and a whole seris of bad thinking habits. Medication is not ment to drug us up to oblivion. It helps to find the balance. once there therapy teaches us where we picked up the bad habits and how to change them. We need to learn new comportment and new behaviors. You do not have to share anything you do not want to with your mom, friends, nor school. But you are not responsible for others. Your mother is an adult and is responsible for herself and her health. Her misery is not yours. If she has attempted suicide and is feeling bad the situation you are in is very stressful. You will need to release that.. and the gang here is a very diverse group so many of us will happily have a good word or two for you. Ass you can tell, we are not doctors, but have a good understanding of our illness ... so we will definately share our experiences if you want. And we will give you all the space you need to rant, rave and question that you need. we will also be here for any morale support that you might need ...

Thank you. You have no idea what it means just to be able to talk to someone about this.

volucris, Welcome to our support community! As you can see the members do know what you are going through and have provided some great advice. (Thanks Everyone!) Take the time to read through and use the tools available to you. We are here to help and guide you, so ask questions if you need to. Take it day by day and step by step :) Josie, Support Specialist

Volucris, Hi and welcome to the site. Well, what you are describing is a self-fulfilling prophecy, a Catch-22, where you really need to talk to people but you won't because the people will "tell on you" and your parents will get "mad" at you or your mother might do something desperate... You sensitivity to your teen friends and 'others' is way too heavily weighted...this has to be the most classic of all classic negative thoughts.You're going to run around little circles in your head thinking like this and, for your mental health, you must drop the 'defensive wall' of the Catch-22 and get the help you need. You are way too young too allow such external pressures to bottle you up - you need to let the over-stuffed parcel of your 'bad' teen years out and sorted so that you can deal with life as it is rather than crouching behind your supposed toxicity so that you become a martyr to the faith of Holy Family and friends and authority figures... If you read back through the posts over the last six months you'll see lots of discussions about being assertive and properly 'selfish' about your life and your responsibility to look after yourself first and foremost. You've taken a big step to stop this 'hiding' on here and you can post more of your experiences here for the members to help you with good advice. There's nothing 'easy' about bottling all your pain up inside you so as not to 'disturb' others. Like Gabs says, you cannot 'hide' stuff from your mother; she loves you despite her own severe depression and you can make it 'easy' to tell her what's going on with you by being the intelligent person that you are - that is, let her know that you need professional help and that you are smart enough to do all the research into local mental health centers and groups and that you just want her to know that you are handling your problem and that you just wanted her to know about it so that she doesn't freak out. You are in control of your illness and you know how to 'fix' it. Make those phone calls directly after Boxing Day and let us know how things are going. The members here are mothers and fathers and people as young as yourself and we've all been through acres of crap in our lives so we understand very well where you're coming from and what will help you to combat the problems you encounter. The counsellors here are wise and experienced care-givers and you'll see where they offer sound realistic advice through the posts to other members like yourself and myself. Sorry if I sound like a grumpy old fart but I just know that you musn't 'hide' from this problem anymore. Remember you have one life to lead...never shoot yourself in the foot to make things disappear!

It's precisely because I don't want to worry my friends that I don't talk to them, and because I don't know how they'll react or who they'll take the story to. And my mom has already attempted suicide once. I'm not going to do anything that'll bring her closer to that. I've thought about telling teachers, but that'd only end up with me going to a doctor and being drugged up. I don't really know why my teen years have been so bad. It may be because I have a lot of things that I hide. I know I shouldn't, but it's really easier that way.

Hi volucris, Well you have already made your mind up about not seeing a Doctor. so no point in suggesting that then is there? You seem to have already made up your mind on what you think that other adults will say without hearing your story or listening to how you are feeling. You say you have been depressed for about 4 years. All of your teenage years then. These years are very difficult for people anyway without any 'real' problems. What is it that has made these years particularly bad for you? You say that you dont want to worry people that are close to you and then you say that you are not close enough to anybody who you can talk to. You also appear to want to protect your mother from your pain. O.K. What to do. I Know this is hard and probably not what you want to hear but speak to your Mom. I am a Mom. I know that whatever pain I am going through, no matter how bad, no matter how much it may upset me, I would be more upset to know that my kids didn't come to me with their problems no matter what it was. Your Mother may not like what she hears, she may react in the way that you fear but believe me she will want to know. You will work on this together. If this is impossible to contemplate, there has to be another adult who you can offload to. A teacher, a friends Mom? You are not alone. Post here all you like. There are some good people here with some great advise. take care and good luck. x

I don't know what to do any more. I've been feeling depressed for about four years, and nothing helps. I haven't been diagnosed with anything, and I'm not planning on seeing a doctor anytime soon. It would only cause unnecessary worry for people close to me. I don't have anybody I'm close to who I can talk to. I'm not 18 yet, so if I say something to someone and they let an adult know, it'll get back to my parents. My mom is already feeling bad enough, and I don't want to add to that. I know you're all just going to tell me to go to a doctor, and I'm sorry, but I just can't.