Hello, I'm Jenn, 33, mother of a 2 year old who is going through a divorce. I have been depressed since I can remember, with a family history of depression, suicide and suscide attempts, and have experienced many forms of abuse during childhood and beyond. I have been in and out of therapy and on and off of medications for the last 10 years. When my life is going ok, I keep my depression and anxiety at bay with daily strenous exercise. When life takes those inescapable downturns, exercise just doesn't cut it.
It seems to be getting worse, or else my life has just been taking more frequent and more serious downturns. About five years ago I attempted suicide and was hospitilized. Then I met a man I believed was wonderful, married and got pregnant. All the chances in situation and hormones led to another serious depression which worsened postpartum. I worked hard to get out of it and found a good therapist, psychiatrist and medication. I thought things were turning up when my husband served me with divorce papers and i moved into a hotel and then into a condo. Between all the stress and not eating well, I had a seizure and had to stop the medications that were working and start again.
Now I am trying to start so many things again from medications to a new home, job, daycare for my child as I was a stay at home mom, and feel like I am trying to start my whole life over again. I'm not sure if I have the strength or will to go through it, but I love my daughter so much I am doing the best I can for her if not for myself.
I am here becauseI need support now more than ever. My family is not supportive and tends to make me feel worst even though they have good intentions (I think) I have a handful of friends from a post-partum depression support group I joined but we are beginning to drift apart. Whatever few friends I have made recently I have either moved away from or lost to my husband in the divorce. I know that medication and therapy alone is not enough to get me through me worst depressions, and I don't want to ever end up in a hospital again, so I'll try anything and everything I can think of and can force myself to until things get better or for as long as I can.
[font=Tahoma]Thanks for listening, hope to do the same for any of you. Jenn[/font]