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Hi nikola,
I am not sure by your post if you have received any type of professional help for how you are feeling, but please do not feel you have to go through these types of emotions alone. Help is available. If you do not already have a therapist - your family doctor is usually a very good place to start.
You may find some of the tools available on the site helpful such as our Depression Test. If you are hesitant to discuss your feelings with your doctor, you can print out your results of the test to share with your doctor.
Please keep us posted as to how you are doing.
Casey
__________________________________
The Depression Center Support Team
nikola
i think you have just taken an important step. i think it helps to communicate your feelings. if you are depressed this isn't your fault or something you can necessarily fix easily or quickly. my impression is that this is a good site. there are people here who can make suggestions as to where you should seek help. take care.
i've never posted to any online group like this, but i'm finding myself just wanting to think out loud. i don't know if i'm depressed, but i've been very down the past couple of weeks. most of all, i feel a crushing sense of loneliness. about a year ago, i ended an 11-year relationship, and i don't think i'm over it yet. i don't have very many good friends, and i feel like the friends i do have are sick of me. i'm not that close with my parents, although i would like to be. i don't want to tell them that i've been crying for seven days straight because i don't want them to worry about me. i have a supposedly good job, but i despise it and feel like i'm wasting my life at it. i feel trapped and alone and powerless. i can't get myself to do anything lately except go to work and come home and sit on the couch and go to bed. i feel like i drive people away and that maybe i'm not a good person. i try to be - i try to be a good friend and to be generous and kind and fun, i really do. i wonder if other people feel this way too. i mean, is it normal for me to be questioning if i'm a good person? i feel profoundly alone and at sea and maybe i just deserve that or maybe that is just my lot in life or something. and i'm just so scared that i'm going to be trapped and alone and paralyzed forever. i just want to be happy. i'm so tired of crying. i don't know what to do.
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