Hi, angel. Thanks for listening. As you may already sense, I am not very open with people about my panic or at least I wasn't before. I'm working on it. Now, I am spontaneously on the verge of crying when i open up. I imagine that others have gone through this as well. For so long, I was dealing with my panic (on my own). I felt scared alot back then..about eating, about loved ones' dying, about vomitting, but I always did what i could anyway. I used to think of it like 'sometimes your heart has to catch up to your actions' or something like that...I heard it on television once and used to live by it.For a second there, I thought that my feeling of panic,etc. was only due to a hormonal imbalance because once I got on the Pill I felt better and my eating behavior became more normal. My hormone tests came back okay this time, so, I guess that now I am just change in progress :); hence, the name. It's not until I came to the website here that I realized that I have a more serious problem. I'm going to the counselor finally to sort everything out. The thing with any illness/disorder, that i gather, is that it eats away at every part of your life if left untreated. Before I got my hormonal medication three years ago, I was afraid to get medication and I paid the price of that fear for so long. I admit that now I am afraid to take medication for this (if i need to)...I'm considering it, though.
