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Rachele,
First, my heart goes out to you with your loss. Second.......is it possible that you are being given all these "instances" to prove to you that you ARE going to be ok???? You don't seem to see it so these things (challenges)keep being put in front of you. I believe everything happens for a reason and there are lessons to learn from every experience. It seems you are definitely being tested these days....and you are getting through it in an awesome way. SEE THAT !!!!! Girlfriend....you are doing great....even as you still believe you'll fall....you're standing on your feet. WAY TO GO !!!!! Hey, and so what if you needed the TV on to get to sleep.....I have used it for years to get my mind distracted from general daily thoughts....do what you have to...no problem in being resourcefull.
No need to wonder why, you are going through a lot. Trying times can bring out a person's resolve. Be proud of yourself as you are doing great! If you need to find a positve in all that is going on, take comfort in the fact that you came through on this! Sorry for your loss. Hang in there, and let us know how you are doing.
Well, today was my stepfather's funeral. Strangely enough the misery of losing him completely drowned out my anxiety. I drove myself an hour away from home to my sister and spent two nights there. That was quite an accomplishment, though I had to sleep with the tv on and was a little anxious at night. Now as if this all isn't enough I have to fly to Michigan tomorrow to babysit my niece for three days!!! My mom was suppose to go but my other sister is in labor so mom won't leave her. I just can't believe this is all happening when my anxiety is so bad. And all this is preventing me from finding treatment providers too. I just feel like curling up and crying. Ok, enough venting, I'm just so wiped out from this anxious episode, I don't know why. Thanks for listening, Rachele
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