Thank you all for you're replies, my computer was acting up and I could not post for awhile, I have been posting so much lately maybe that was good, sometimes I think I complain and vent too much, I know others need help on this site too and I so hope and pray we all get better very soon. Thank you all for being concerned and all you're help and advice it so much helps me.
I have not panicked in about a week I feel instead very depressed, still very anxious too, the two together are not good. I know what I am dreading and agonizing about, I tried to make a GYN appt and I could NOT do it, I started shaking and getting very upset so I just stopped, hopefully next week I can do it, my problems is I cannot find anyone in the evening that is open, its hard for me during the day because of transportation, and I have this "day agorophobia" I cannot seem to leave the house during the day when the sun is bright its so bright and light and hurts my eyes and makes me dizzy even with sunglasses, if I can find someone in the evening I know I would probably go, it would be much easier but no luck yet.
I can always go to urgent care of ER, in fact I would prefer that, that way if they give me bad news and I pass out they can revive me, I know that sounds like a joke but its not, its how I feel inside, I am so afraid of what they are going to tell me, if its bad news I know I will collaspe, its like I am putting it off so I will not fall completely apart, but that is not good either because if its bad its best too catch it earlier, I am praying for the strength to go, and I need a physical too, those chest pain last week really shook me up, I have been walking one dog at a time and that helps, maybe all the pulling of two big dogs pulled some chest muscles, at least that is what I am trying too think, instead of something worse. My son has been acting up a lot lately and my husband is tired to deal with it, it has been very stressful here at home but somehow I am dealing with it.
I hope I can write I made an appt, I want to so much but I dont want to get halfway there and cannot do it, this is gonna be a real toughie for me I know. Thank you all for writing me I am looking forward too hearing back from all of you. Thank you..