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Upsetting Situation Setting Me Back


for 13 år siden 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Debora

I read your therapists comment different than you. I read it to mean your husband can't strong arm you into sleeping. If your husband wants you better he should leave you alone so you can get better. He is bordering on mental cruelty as far as I am concerned, and I think you should quit trying to please him and take care of yourself. That is just my opinion. Where is his support. If he loves you he will support you or at least leave you alone to get better. 
You hold the cards and don't forget it. He has more to lose if your marriage ends than you do. If he wants the house clean he can pull up his socks and help. I would.
And if you need to sleep during the day then do it. ......... the holidays there is always next year. Take care of you first.

Davit.
for 13 år siden 0 542 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank You Samantha I will read session eleven hopefully it will be of some help. Communication is not my husbands strongpoint but its worth a try. I think I am just over tired and achy from lack of sleep, the last few days I cannot sleep much or well at all and I think its because of the attitude towards it, hopefully things will smooth out especially before Christmas.
for 13 år siden 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Debora,
 
I would highly recommend checking out session 11 of the panic program on relationships. This session goes over tips, communication styles, communication skills and dealing with specific problems. Communication is really important in relationships and especially important if you are dealing with panic and anxiety.
 
What steps can you begin to take if you can’t solve it all right now? What do you need before you can move forward?

Know that we are here for you, 
 


Samantha, Health Educator
for 13 år siden 0 542 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I hope what is happening in my home does not set me back. My body is already being effected, I ache all over, very tired, and I feel like I am getting a bug or something, probably because lack of sleep. Yesterday when my Therapist arrived early I was in the bedroom finishing getting ready, my husband complained too him about my "sleeping pattern problems" He told him he wanted me sleeping more at night and less during the day, which is what I want too, but the therapist said I cannot be "forced" or "strong-armed" into sleeping ,anotherwords the more you try to sleep the less you will! and I understand that completely.

Many many nights I lay in bed till dawn and cannot sleep, sometimes I get up and read to get sleepy, and that makes my husband very angry, like this morning I laid there till my husbands alarm went off at 5:00 am then I think I dozed for about an hour till my son's alarm went off at 6:45, so I slept about six or seven hours during the day, I mean if you do not sleep all night if you can get a few hours during the day I guess you should, if I dont I ache, I have a headache and feel like seven day garbage, I would LOVE to sleep more at night but right now I cant through I am trying, the klonopin helps somewhat, but still having trouble and I do NOT want to take a sleeping pill on top of a benzo, I dont think that is even safe? is it? I have felt so bad for the last few days and my husband is constantly on me about this, about sleeping "right" I wish I could fall asleep at midnight and sleep all night boy do I ever, but him yelling at me about it and pressuring me is causing the problem to worsen.

He gets mad if I take a nap and sometimes I need one, I am so very tired, my therapist said I am too early in recovery to be pressured about sleep, that will come in time, I just wish hubby would understand that and not make the matter much worse.

I know what he wants he wants "debbie back fast and right now! He wants the house spotless and me looking beautiful doing it! I find that kind of chauvinistic, I am trying so hard to get the house back in order and look better, I do admit this panic disorder has made me look bad but I am trying to look better and clean the house better, but he constantly critizies me about this, did anyone else ever have this problem, a spouse not being understanding and trying to "hurry" recovery? and how did they handle it? I feeling like I am letting him down and that does not help my recovery or self-esteem at all, I mean you cannot force a person too sleep on a set schedule? I just wish he would see how far I have come instead of making me feel bad and sad about my looks and sleep and housework, I think I have improved, but maybe just not enough for him, my therapist said he feels "tension" between my husband and I and I do not want my marriage to end because of it, I guess I need to try harder and just pretend to sleep maybe, but rest is so important to recovery. Why can anything ever be easy? I wish I could be what he wants again and in time I will I think, but he wants it faster and NOW! If anyone ever went through this please let me know and how they dealt with it, I am so tired so very tired, getting well is hard work, and looking good is too, I just hope and pray in time things will go back to normal, the holidays are coming and I need to be on top of my game!

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