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Session 14 Shyness & Sensitivity

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Session 14 Shyness & Sensitivity

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 659

Hi Dizzy,

I think there are different types of agoraphobia. Some people can't leave there homes to get supplies or walk out to the mail box it is so severe yet they don't mind being around people within their own environment and they can not stand being alone. They do need people to bring them supplies and they do need a lot of help because of the agoraphobia. I can go to the store and do all the things I need to do to survive in the world, I just choose not to have a lot of social contact. I do not think I am more likely to become mentally ill than a person who can not be alone and has to be surrounded by people and friends all the time. We are all different and what causes anxiety in one person doesn't in another and vice versa. Anxiety and panic is a very individual thing. I do remember my life before I started becoming agoraphobic and I prefer the life I have now. This being said maybe I am not agoraphobic at all, maybe this is a life style choice and once I accept myself the way I am I will not have any anxiety anymore. This is a thought I am going to ponder. Maybe it is all about self acceptance.....

Red

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 118

Hi Red

I am not agoraphobic but I have places where I get panic attack. However, I think anxiety can severely affect your life towards social situations. To give you my example in grade 8 I was the big man on campus I knew everyone and had a lot of friend. Then grade nine I started to have anxiety and panic attacks in high school I had a few good friends. Then university I spent a year not talking to anyone, eventually ended up with two good friends. Now have no friends like the ones I had before. What caused this gradual reduction was anxiety. When you feel anxious all the time, you are less likely to be outgoing and friendly. Sometimes all it had to do with is I felt crappy all day and did not want to make an effort. I did not know I had panic attacks and anxiety back then but I sure knew when I was not feeling well. When I think back, my friends kept me going even through the rough time. When I was laid off, I lost all work a friend or acquaintances and eventually ended up in the hospital. Now I know what wrong and that it is anxiety and I can work on it. I believe that being alone feeds into anxiety and anxiety feeds into being alone. I am guessing, although you say been acrophobic for a long time, that there was I time when you were not anaphoric what were like back then. Possibly this will tell how much you have changed from being agoraphobic. One thing that I know for sure social isolation can lead a normal person into a mental illness.

Dizzy

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 659

Everyone,

I want to thank you all for your support and for sharing your personal experiences on this subject. I do not want want to make myself the focus of this thread though. I feel this may be a issue others members maybe having and also people who are just reading here and have not joined the group might be having problems with shyness and social anxiety. I want to give others a chance to join in the discussion.

To the people out there reading that have or have had problems with shyness or social anxiety please join in when you feel you are ready. We want to here from you also....

Red

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 286

Red,

Thank you so much for sharing us. I'm glad you can open up about some of this here. We're here for you!

Teebs

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Red: Just to let you know that I also had and still have some difficulty talking about private matters. It was the same in our family, it stayed at home, some things even swept under the carpet. When I begin to trust someone then I can let some of it go, but I have to trust first. I can still socialize with others and have lots of fun but probably I am the more reserved one and ask others questions about themselves.

Sunny

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red

This is a very good thing you have done even though it was hard. It is best to let it out.

I am proud of you.

Here for you

Davit

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 659

There is something else I wanted to say. Just coming here and posting about myself and about my feeling is exposure for me. I grew up thinking that you didn't talk about personal things outside of the family and really not even there either. I was a very passive kid and kind of stayed in the background. I helped around the house and thats about it. I really never developed any close relationships with anyone inside or outside of my family.....other than my grandfather. I always felt like a outsider at home and at school. I am very nervous about posting this but I feel I needed too. For me my negative core beliefs go back to my childhood and other life experiences....These past experiences do make social situations very difficult for me... Well I have said all I can bare to say about this for now. Thats it for me in a nutshell...

Red

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 659

I am also more comfortable on my own or with people I know. I have some very strong negative core beliefs about be trapped with a small group of people. These go back to my school days when I was in elementary school and it got worse as I progressed through school... I pretty much was becoming Agoraphobic by the time I was 16 and it has gotten progressively worse over the past 40 yrs. I don't experience the blushing, sweating, freezing that they talk about. My blood pressure does go up and I do get gastric trouble and sleep disturbances with nightmares if I have been in a very difficult situation like the one I have been in lately....This type of social situation has been something I try to stay from because of the anxiety it causes me and the fact that it makes me physically sick. I have been trying to change this and it has been very hard and I am not sure if it is possible. My past experiences in life tell me to stay away from people because it is safer and less painful to be on your own......This is something that I really do struggle with.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 286

I just completed Session 14. Like you, Red, a few aspects of it seemed to apply to me, but not all of it.

I'm not uncomfortable making small talk, being observed doing things like eating, or talking to authority figures. I alos don't experience blushing, sweating, freezing, or the other physical symptoms they describe. In fact, I don't even get that nervous speaking in front of groups of people, and have done a lot of this in the past.

I do think, however, that I have withdrawn from some social relationships as a result of my panic disorder. Particularly related to work. I had extreme difficulties at work this summer, and tried to use my social skills to communicate about it to my bosses and co-workers rather than hide it, like I'm used to doing. I got mixed results, but little help, and ended up quitting my job. As a result I am no longer in much contact with co-workers who used to be my friends.

I have fewer friends right now, but I'm not sure that's necessarily a bad thing. For one, some the responses I got when I opened up about my anxiety to my so-called friends were less than helpful. Instead of trying to understand what I was going through or supporting me, I did feel judged and outcast. I didn't feel this way about everyone I talked to about it, so maybe it's not really social anxiety coming into play but a reasonable response to what happened in that social situation.

In regards to social anxiety and agoraphobia, I do have a lot of anxiety around being in public places. I'm much more comfortable on my own or with people who know me well. I do worry about people noticing I'm having anxiety issues, but I don't have difficulties interacting with people. In fact, now that I think about it, it may actually be easier for me to talk to a group of people than to sit and listen to someone else talk to a group. Does this have to do with being in control? Why do I become more anxious when I'm just listening?

This got kind of long-winded, but those are the thoughts that came up for me after completing the session.