SIM & Davit: Thanks guys! Your support really means a lot - I'm smiling away here.
I am not nervous about these laser surgeries. I have had them done before, the second type. The first one is something new though. It'll be four appts. in all. There isn't much pain, your eyes are frozen and it is just uncomfortable really and you might feel just a little sickish afterwards. My main concern was not getting through to get the first appt. as everyone was on holidays all the time, one after the other. I really didn't want to reschedule the second appt. because I couldn't get the first, especially because my grandchildren are coming and I wanted this over with before they got here. That was stressful for me, waiting patiently wondering if I'll get in. And of course the pain from pressures and taking these wretched drops (4 different kinds I had to try because of allergic reactions and developed keratitis), now that was painful, but just stinging now. What was maddening and stressful was that I couldn't go to them for help after trying some of these drops because they were on holiday so ended up in emerg. twice. After these surgeries though, no more drops and I can go back to normal. These procedures last approx. 6 years, then you need to do it again. My last one was a little more than 6 years ago and worked very well. You can only have it done about three times in your life. So I'll only be able to have it one more time, after that, hoping they find something new.
I don't have a therapist to talk to, but I do have a couple of good friends. I did stop talking about it though, feeling I might be whining or something. I could have spoken to my GP but she was on holiday too, exact same two times as the opthamologist and those were the times I needed the help.
Davit, I hope you get stronger. Don't ever give up even if it seems so hard at times. I cried a few times in frustration and feeling like I was falling through the cracks, but never wanted to give up. Let me know when your appt. comes up and I'll be there for you in spirit.
I know what you mean about getting it into the past - when I had the surgery last year and I was anxious about that one - I kept thinking, soon I'll be home and it'll be all over with. yippee. Use the valium, you are knowledgeable and will use it wisely. I really care. Your friend who sees blurry with the eyes once in awhile, but not the heart and mind.
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