Hiya Danielle, thanks again for your support and encouragements :) My cat is feeling better but we have to monitor his glucose very closely. I do not work this week so I get to keep an eye on him which is good. As for my health it is returning to normal. I managed to take a nice 1 hour walk yesterday which really helped with my nerves. Now, this week I am hormonal but at least I am healthy lol! :) Anyway, all will be well^^ -Diva

Diva, Thanks for checking in. So happy to hear you're feeling better! You've done a fantastic job keeping calm and collected throughout all these triggers. Give your kitty our love. We hope he feels better too :) Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

Well I am finally feeling better from my illness and capable of starting my walks back up and eating somewhat more normally. I still need to go for some blood tests but I figure that will be ok I think the clinic near my house does blood tests so I won't have to go to the hospital. Friday I had the renovation guy come and fix our bathroom and dining room light fixture. I hate have strangers in the house cause it makes me feel super invaded. But now, I am glad he came. Friday my cat (who is diabetic) crashed. His bloodsugar got too low and he went into convulsions and everything. The reno guy was great, he took the cat and me to the vets and my cat is fine. But it has ben a tough weekend. I love my cat, to me he is not just a cat if that makes any sense lol. HE is ok now but we have to keep a real close eye on him. So all in all been a rough week! Between being sick and the cat and the renovations today, I just want to rest and try and relax. I managed to get through it all with no actual big panic attacks so I am pretty happy with that. Anyway, just thought I would give you guys an update! -Diva

Diva, So sorry to hear you we're ill over the weekend. Remember to challenge those anxious thoughts as you go through the motions. As you said, you have a great doctor and although it's not fun to be sick, it is a temporary state. Hang in there and keep us posted! Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

Man, that's harsh. How are you feeling now, any better? I also find that being sick makes it harder to deal with the anxiety. First you think, "There's something wrong with me!" and because you are tired all over from being sick, it makes all mental processes seem muddled! Blah. Hang in there!

Oh sorry, Little bit of history missing for you guys to get my last post. Last month in July, around the 16th on a sunday, I got really sick. Ended up in the hospital spending the night there completely dehydrated. Now last sunday on the 19th the same thing came back. So you can see why I am annoyed and going to the doctor's! Anyway, just thought i would mention this since I am in the I had a panic attack thread not in an I had stomach flu thread lol. I find it hard to not get scared and panic over this. I don't like being sick, makes me feel not only well, sick and uncomfortable, but helpless and out of control. Anyway, done venting! later -Diva

Ok practically a month to the day, last sunday I got sick again. Same symptoms and all. At least this time I knew what to do so I didn't dehydrate as badly and so did not end up having to go to the hospital. Man it was hard to stay cool and calm tho. Definetely one of those more anxious days. I find it hard to deal with anxiety when I am sick. Today I am going to see my doctor for an emergency appointment. I am hoping they can figure out what is wrong with me. Sure I am prone to stomach bugs but not to this extent. I did not come in contact with anyone who is sick or got sick. I hate the same things as either my mom or hubby and they didn't get sick... Plus i find it weird it came back practically to the month! So I will go have my doctor check this out. But i did want to vent and to say the last few days have ben really tough! My husband had to miss work monday and today to take care of me and I hate that, I don't want him to get into trouble at work. Anyway, this worries me but I feel better knowing my doctot will be on the csse, she is very good and when she can't figure it out she isn't afraid to send me to a specialist. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent some more. -Diva

Diva, Glad to hear it! Keep persevering! Danielle - Bilingual Support Specialist

The exposure work towards getting back to sleeping in bed with my hubby is working well. As for the event wednesday I decided not to go. So all is settled and getting back on track! Thank you for letting me vent here for so long :) -Diva

Yesterday I readjusted my exposure work for the current situation. It helped. I finally managed to do some exposure work in the bed comfortably and do some "cuddling" exposure work with my hubby. So today I feel more optimistic that it won't be too long before I am back sleeping in the bed with my hubby. It is still a bit frustrating but I feel much more hopeful :) Also, I have another little problem. There is an event I am supposed to go to for my dad's wedding anniversary to my stepmom. It is the kind of event I don't even like when I am feeling on top of my game. And atm I don't even feel on top of my game! First of all it will be majorly corwded and I mean crowded! On top of it I have to dress all pretty and nice and I always end up being underdressed compared to my stepmom and step sisters cause I can't afford the clothes they can. Then to make things worse, it is in a somewhat isolated location where if I don't feel well I cannot have a swift exit strategy and on top of it it will be very very loud! much noise! Now this is definetely not ideal for me. My husband said we could just skip going because I am not up to it and I am slowly getting my emotionnal equilibrium back and that is what is important. And part of me really does just want to skip it, I don't feel ready for this, it is just too many fears to face all at once. And on top of it I would have to face them while wrestling with the presence of my stepmother with whom I really don't get along (a.k.a. she hates me and wishes i hadn't been bvorn). So my first instinct is to respect the limits I have right now, continue my exposure work and facing my fears with baby steps and such and to just not go cause that is too much in one shot! But part of is is saying that I am avoiding and acoiding is bad and I should be braver and just go. But the honest truth is I REALLY DON"T FEEL UP TO IT YET! And that makes me feel bad cause I know my dad will be disappointed if I am not there. But I want to get stronger before I put myself in that type of situation , Is that wrong? Am I just avoiding too much? Am I just being a big chicken? Oye, if anybody has any thoughts on this or advice please let me know. Thanks! -Diva