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Need some reassuring words tonight


for 19 år siden 0 444 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
That is a very good point Allison about being there for my son, I have still of course cared for him fed him loved him etc...but I am not 100% like I should be and it causes me so much guilt and remorse, he seems to be alright with it he is a little older now but still I want to get well and be like before, when I feel good I always try to "make it up to him" I constantly tell him I love and adore him and my anxiety and depression have nothing to do with him and I will love him forever, he is my motivation for going on. Orlando is pretty {expensive through} I am glad you had such a good time, you probably will not think I am so lucky in a few days this hurricane is coming, I am hoping and praying it will weaken but it seems like it wants to make a beeline right to us, my son loves hurricanes he studies them it fasinates him, he wants to be a weatherman. Writing to you tonight has calmed my racing thoughts, thank you, I am glad you are not on meds they have side effects and are hard to come off, you had mentioned you had a feeling where I was in my anxiety right now, were you ever as bad as me?? it seems hard to believe anyone can be as anxious as me, I will try facing my fears. God bless, Debbie.
for 19 år siden 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I know I've said this to you before but it is exhausting to think you are dying all the time. I know the resentment can build easily towards others who you think should care more. I know the thought of your son being alone or something happening to you can almost make you faint. I know what it feels like to hardly remember what it felt like to feel normal. I know where you are, and you can come out of this.
for 19 år siden 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
We were in Orlando- so warm and beautiful there- you are so lucky!I am not on meds. I was very very close but things started to turn around for me. Debbie, my biggest fear of not being here for my children too. That is why I try to empower them and teach them what I can everyday. From teaching them to help in the kitchen, being responsible to clean up their rooms, to how to be a friend to why they should never smoke! This winter we plan to draw up a will as well. Ironically your worst fear is not being there for your son, are you there for him now?
for 19 år siden 0 444 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Allison, I am sorry I did not see your second post to me I must of been writing back to you when I sent it. I do go to church and I pray everynight, its funny late at night when I am praying I feel so at ease and peaceful but when day comes it comes back. My nurse is leaving town at the end of the month so I will have to find someone else, I did see that phycologist once she seemed to understand. I guess my biggest fear Allison is that if I die what will be come of my son?? My husband could never do it he has admitted that its not so much dying its leaving my little boy does that make sense. Do you ever get real exhausted worrying?? I use to waitress 10 hours a day and run after my little boy non-stop and this darn disorder tires me out more than that!! I have a script for Zoloft from my regular MD if I need it, I use to take it but it kind of "pooped-out". Did you go to Orlando? Thats near where I live, I am so glad you had a good time, that is really facing your fears, you should be so proud, you sound so strong and determined and I so admire that, you do not take meds do you? I hope to hear back from you if you are still up, thank you for helping me. Debbie.
for 19 år siden 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
DisneyWorld was a lot of fun and definately pushed the limits of my comfort zone from the plane to Space Mountain so that was a good thing! You have taken some real steps to getting better Debbie! Taking and staying on the Paxil, breathing, self talk. That is great, you should feel proud. What helped me was to surrender to the fact that I am not in control of the universe and that I CAN deal with what comes my way. I have an idea where you are right now with your anxiety, and I know that I could not of gotten to where I am today without professional help. What are your options for help right now?
for 19 år siden 0 444 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Allison, My husband is home tonight, he is concerned about the hurricane, he is pretty laid back so when he is concerned I get concerned hurricanes are pretty scary, I got through Francis and Jeanne last year but I did not have this anxiety and panic then. I have not had a full-blown panic attack in 3 days which is great just lots of anxiety perhaps the Paxil is FINALLY starting to work, but I have been trying to use positive self-talk and deep-breathing too. I guess seeing that blood in my vomitus and then in my stool all in one week freaked me out, I have been eating SO bland so I do not get sick and taking pepcid. I am going to try and calm myself. How are you doing? Did you go on vacation? I missed you. I have to look up one of your old posts I think you said yogurt is great to eat and even eliminates blood in the stool, I think it was your post, it was a while back. PLease let me know how you are doing. God bless, Deb.
for 19 år siden 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I know this is a horrifying idea to you BUT have you ever considered facing your fears? Yes, you could be dying- but what are the chances of that after your numerous tests lately? You will die one day- that's a guarantee! The more I ran from my fears- the more powerful they became. When I started facing the reality of death, it lessened it's grip on me. I know you believe in God and I hope you can find peace knowing that this life isn't heaven. What happened to your Christian counsellor? Do you have a church where you feel comfortable?
for 19 år siden 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Debbie! Is your husband home with you tonight? The one thing my husband says to me when I'm in a bad place is learn from the past. If your doctor's aren't concerned, take their lead and let it go. They haven't been terribly wrong yet regarding your issues yet, have they? Blood in stool will happen if you are constipated, eat more fibre- trying making some bran muffins! Also your ulcer is a factor too I'm sure. So how long does your doctor suggest you stay on the Paxil before trying something else?
for 19 år siden 0 444 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am trying to stay calm, I am reading the program and trying to breathe and not panic. I vomited some blood 5 days ago and it really shook me up, I have not since, thank God, but the Doctor said it may be an ulcer or tears in my throat from retching and I have to go to ER if it happens again, I also noticed a tiny amount of blood in my stool {sorry if that is distasteful} Since starting Paxil my bowel habits have changed, I have been a little constipated so I am hoping its just from the strain, I have told my Doctor about it, did this ever happen to anyone?? Also we have a very strong hurricane heading right for us this weekend, my stomach is hurting, I hope its just anxiety, I am breathing and praying, I am really trying to recover and these scary symptoms scare me, my Doc does not seem concerned but I am! I am hoping the hurricane will weaken. If anyone is still up and wants to respond I thank you. God bless, Debbie.

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