You are correct in acknowledging that the addiction never goes away. That's why one of our most important mantras is N.O.P.E., Not One Puff Ever! We're just a puff away from a pack a day!
Stick close, ask for support whenever you need it, read and learn from the Program and Tools, and keep repeating NOPE to yourself whenever the nico-demon rears it's ugly head! That's the path that leads to success on your journey!
Oh, and one more thing... REWARD YOURSELF DAILY!!! Quitting is damn tough and you deserve a reward daily for making it through another day smoke-free!!!
It truly is difficult to trust that just one drag will lead you into the rabbit hole again until you do it, and then it's too late. There are a million excuses I can use for my last relapse but ultimately they don't matter. It had been almost 2 months and that first cigarette was terrible and made me vomit, something I hadn't done since my very first cigarette ever. I bummed the smoke so I figured I was ok. And it was so horrible that I thought "oh good that was gross and I never want to smoke again. Glad I did that." Did not expect to have a hurricane force craving several hours later followed by knowing that I would be smoking again, and not only was I smoking again, I was smoking more than I ever had within just a few short days. It comes back with a vengeance... Actually the addiction never goes away, I just forgot what it can be like.
Hi Red - you have come so far and done soooooo well to have remained smoke free for this long! Can you dig down deep in your heart and see what brought this relapse on? Perhaps you're feeling so well now that you've forgotten how smoking robs your health! I agree with the other posts here - please stay!
It is OK if you relapse - in fact, it would be great to read posts where people are struggling with a slip instead of leaving the site! Maybe you can chart your emotions, triggers and start over with the program to gain your understanding of what this little slip means to you and how to reckon with it!
Please stay Roses - regardless of what you are going through - you are so important to many of us here and we are here to support you - that is the bottom line!
