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Barely hanging on... fed up... and scared

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Cat!!!

I just looked and Dave took the time to bump up some great posts you might like to read! Look in the other forum threads for them!

Jim

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 3/5/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 475
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 11,875
Amount Saved: $1,959.38
Life Gained:
Days: 80 Hrs: 13 Mins: 46 Seconds: 13

Quit Meter

$46,410.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1133 Hours: 4

Minutes: 3 Seconds: 14

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6188

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

185,640

Cigarettes Not Smoked

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Cat!!!

If you're going to get pissed and want to lash out at something, lash out at the nico-demon!!!

That little sucker did this to you! Polish your armor and sharpen your sword!!! Win today's battle and declare to the stinky one that you will NEVER lose one stinking battle to that little piece of crap!!!

Thinking like this got me through more than one crave!!! Think about it and take a deep breath and know that you just won another battle and you ARE stronger than the urges!!! You have been a NON-SMOKER for 70 days!!!

Keep looking forward to the days that the nico-demon will bother you less than a mosquito!!! Those days are coming for you, Cat, so embrace your quit and get you some ice cream!!!

You are going to do this!!! I can just tell!!!

Jim

Quit Meter

$46,410.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1133 Hours: 4

Minutes: 3 Seconds: 14

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6188

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

185,640

Cigarettes Not Smoked

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 639

Cat - hang in there!!!! Be strong and proud in your quit. Dig deep for your inner strength. You are stronger than a habit!

Life will throw challenges and obstacles at you everyday. How you react and respond to those challenges will make the difference.

Choose that no matter what, you DESERVE the freedom to be smoke-free....to breathe as deeply as you wish.....to live life on your terms.

Hugggs,

Dave

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/19/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 155
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,650
Amount Saved: $1,220.63
Life Gained:
Days: 25 Hrs: 9 Mins: 7 Seconds: 10

Quit Meter

$53,067.02

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1226 Hours: 3

Minutes: 5 Seconds: 59

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5867

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

176,010

Cigarettes Not Smoked

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 916

Have some rest.

You will feel better tomorrow morning! I think is already bedtime in England!

Marivi

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 151
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,265
Amount Saved: $226.50
Life Gained:
Days: 17 Hrs: 5 Mins: 37 Seconds: 30

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 115

Thanks for answering... I'm so sorry to lash out at you all, too. You really deserve better...

Thank you for being there.

Tomorrow is another day. One at a time.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 4/14/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 70
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,400
Amount Saved: �322.00
Life Gained:
Days: 5 Hrs: 15 Mins: 8 Seconds: 18

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1080

Oh Cat hon, that was right from the heart wasn't it? I have had those discussions before, the justification of not quitting, and as Marivi says, its easy to reflect on those early days as 'not so bad' when really they have earned their names of Hell and Heck.

I hope you find the inner strength Cat, you have come so far, you are such a strong and positive member for others to be around it would be so sad if we lost you. You know deep down you would be so so cross if you gave in now. Fight those inner demons, come out the other side the strong and positive Cat that we know and care for.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/10/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 409
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 10,225
Amount Saved: $6,135.00
Life Gained:
Days: 48 Hrs: 7 Mins: 14 Seconds: 17

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 916

Hi Cat

You are at a really difficult stage of this quit. You already forgot what hell and heck weeks were like. One thing it helped me a lot was to read my top ten reasons why I wanted to quit. I have read them every n1ght. This reinforced my decision. Like MM I also carried an index card with my top ten reasons to quit, and I also had them in my phone.

You are a warrior, and you will be fine.

Hugs

Marivi

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 151
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,265
Amount Saved: $226.50
Life Gained:
Days: 17 Hrs: 5 Mins: 26 Seconds: 36

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 115

Hello,

so here comes the REALLY difficult phase, it seems.

On the one hand, I can go for hours without thinking of a cigarette. And sometimes I feel so strong.

But then, more and more often, come the hours when I am SO FED UP with everything.

Today, I almost went and bought a pack. Then I think: NO I would just smoke the whole thing- and would have to start over... Comes the addicted me who then suggests: well, maybe it is better to just bum a cigarette off somebody. Somebody who doesn't know you stopped. And then I don't dare approach somebody I don't know. And then comes: I WANT to smoke. I want to feel free, independant, strong. Light up and rebell. And I try to argue with myself: I don't STILL buy that crap: why should smoking be "independant" and strong. It's the contrary. Think of the stop smoking site. All you have learnt. And then, sorry guys, the voice in my head that you would call the Nicodemon gets even more deceitful, and even meaner. It says: yes, but do you REALLY belong to that site? You're not one of those people who have nothing better to do than sit behind their PCs and whine and post... you're free, you're strong. And to hell with all this babble about health. To hell with the gouvernment trying to tell you to stop. You are not going to COMPLY with that?! Who cares if it's bad for you? Loads of things are bad for you. You can die tomorrow in a car crash. And on and on.

And the voice that says: you can always quit again. In any case, its' normal. And it was already good for your health to have this break.

I don't want to hurt you, all my stay smoke free friends, but I feel my inner demon lashing out against this site as a maybe last means to give me a great excuse to start again.

And it's summer. The evenings are sweet in outdoor cafés here. And I'm lonely. And love (and non-love) hurts. Work is hard and challenging. I just moved to a differnt city a few months ago. My grandmother is struggling to stay alive.

And I am SO scared that I will give in.

I need strength. I need to stay positive. But what to do when the strong part, the warrior in you that has learnt to surmount life's problems comes with a cigarette in her hand??

Help.

Cat

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 4/14/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 70
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,400
Amount Saved: �322.00
Life Gained:
Days: 5 Hrs: 15 Mins: 0 Seconds: 42

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Barely hanging on... fed up... and scared