been there done that. I can totally relate to what you're going thru. I know it's hard, and i often find myself asking "how", but when you get such a big attack, you need to talk to yourself and change your thoughts. It's a hard thing to do when you're going thru this thing that leaves you feeling helpless, but you really do have the power over it. By talking to yourself and telling yourself that you'll get thru it and you've gotten thru it before, etc, it changes your thoughts and eases the panic. You should really look for the post that i wrote about a book i'm reading. If you can get your hands on that boook, it really helps