Oh my goodness! Wow of all the days not to come on the site! I am in aw of these posts! Angels indeed! Wow I'm overwhelmed and u all made me cry. So many heartfelt words touched my heart just now! I can't believe this is happening to me. I just posted the following in the introduction section and then came in here and found you all pouring out your hearts to me :) I feel so special right now and loved. :) Ok so here's what I posted & I can't say thank you enough! I wish I could hug you all for helping me to get through this dark time in my life. I'm going to be ok :) I want to live & be happy in this lifetime and although the pain may feel unbearable I know and have faith and hope that it will all work itself out somehow! GOD definitely sent some angels my way in the past 24hrs. I honestly don't know how I got up today (on the 15th) and accomplished anything. Now it's almost 6am on the 16th and I'm going to sleep like a baby :) Ok, so here's what I posted before I came in here...
HELLO HELLO lol
Ok so here's the deal...my plan was to quit before midnight on the 15th. But I had a few left so of course I had to smoke them. So it was after midnight and I was smoking and I told myself, good I'll just change my quit date to the 16th and then I can smoke all day again.
Ok, so then I was finally getting ready to go to sleep about 4 sumtin this morning and I was laying here observing my breathing and how when I exhaled the poison's got in the way and I was thinking about how good it felt to breathe so clearly just a few days ago and I started praying and asked GOD to please give me the courage, strength & DESIRE to quit smoking! Next thing I knew I was up out of my bed and headed to the kitchen with 2 empty packs and one pack with 2 left, my ashtray and lighter. I went into the kitchen and threw away the 2 empty packs that I had smoked since I started up again Mon. night and then was going to wet down the 2 cig's that were left in the 3rd pack but just had to light one up and take a few puffs so that I would remember how bad the poison's taste and feel that poison making it hard for me to exhale and feel it burn my throat just one last time. Then I wet them both down and threw them away. Then I went and put on two of my 3rd step patches and then I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself that I can do this and I'm going to be ok & that I'm beautiful! Then I just had to come share the good news before I go to sleep So here I am! I'm not giving up anything! I'm gaining a whole lot! I'm taking my life back! Got out of the destructive relationship and threw away the cig's forever!
On the 15th I wanted to be depressed and stay in bed all day but with a lot of help from Ms. Lady I didn't do that. I did however go back to sleep b/c I was tired. Then I got an e-mail from a girlfriend asking me if I wanted to join her at a yoga class on Fri & I said yes even though I didn't know if I'd be able to pull myslef out of bed to go. Then I went and got my nails done and made plans to take my friend that owns the nail shop out to dinner on the 16th (today) for her b-day. And I have an appt with my counselor on Mon. I also made plane reservations to fly to Ca to rollerskate and then to Atl to skate some more and see Ms. Lady and maybe Sue & John b/c I plan on going to NC also to check out the rinks there. I didn't finish buying the plain ticket to come home b/c I'm not sure about that yet, lol. So it turned out to be quite a day and a much better way to spend my day than laying in bed feeling depressed.
So my plan is to get busy living my life again and I'm motivated to do just that!
So today's my quit date August 16, 2007! And I'm not spending the day smoking up till midnight LOL. I feel proud of myself right now! The truth is every since Mon. night when I started I've wanted to stop. I really really like being smoke-free & therefore had to quit again before I got sucked back in to the nasty habit!
Time to get my house smelling good again when I wake up Time to clean and start exercising my butt off so I'll be in good shape for my vacation
Now it's 5:30am and I already have almost an hour smoke-free! So I guess I've been typing this for almost 1/2 hour now, LOL. But now I must get some rest so I can be fresh to do battle when I wake up (as Sue would say) Good night...WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Just breathe...AHHHHHHHHH
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/16/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18
-
Quit Meter
$28,458.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 629
Hours: 11
Minutes: 35
Seconds: 21
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
4743
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
94,860
Cigarettes Not Smoked
