Hi Mike Its good to see people still keep up with this forum. I was starting to wonder if it was unusual that I would come check out the site now and then, even when I'm doing fine. And I am! I'm still on Cipramil 30mg but I'm steaming along. No panic attacks for almost a year now!! I stopped taking Xanax at Christmas so I'm pretty pleased with how I'm going. I'm glad to see that you are still doing well too. Like you, I still get symptoms of anxiety every now and again but I'm glad I do because it keeps my thought processes in check when I start to pretend like panic disorder never existed. Its funny how I see unreasonable stress in other people now and think to myself "don't do it yourself!" I forget how much work I had to do to get where I am. Anyway, keep posting. You beat it before you'll do it again :) Have a great day with me ;) Adèle

So far so good today. This morning was a little hectic but no anxiety. I am determined to shut that anxiety faucet off today. I deserve a good day...why not make it today? It is my choice. Best to everyone. Mike

Very tired this morning. No real anxiety to speak of but fatigue-o-plenty. It was getting a little late last night, I was starting to ruminate a bit and I wasnt drifting off like I usually do so I took a Xanax to help me sleep. Well, it did, and this morning I am dragging behind. It will pass in an hour or so. I was doing some reading in another thread here that got me curious about the Linden Method so I went to the Linden site and wrote a couple of E-mails to them. I also called the 800 number which of course got me connected to a very nice British lady....it was 1 am there. :) I havent received a response to the mails yet this morning but they said within 36 hours, so they have some time. I am willing to drop the 165 bucks for the kit to give it a shot. Its only money and I spend that much on self-help books, therapists, soothing music and medications each month when my anxiety starts acting up. If the method works, it should pay for itself quickly...if not, I can sell it at a garage sale. I could just see the sign on the corner..."GARAGE SALE Psycholoical slef-help books, anxiety cures and out of date medications....everything must go!". Yes, the shoppers would be flocking to the sale! :) Well, off to another day at the races. So far, so smooth. No speed bumps anticipated today and if I encounter any I will just cruise over them and try not to spill my beverage. Have a great stress and anxiety free day. Mike

Thanks Josie! One thing I have found to be a tremendous help is typing a report here first thing in the morning. Not only does it give me a chance to create a "living" document but I get useful feedback from other members here as well. As I searched my last episode (documented in the archives here) I remembered several techniques that were quite helpful in assisting me to my reslove last time. These were things I had forgotten or simply stopped doing. Reading the old threads helped spark my memory and give me some guidance toward what I could do to make this current episode as brief as possible. I am also a realist. I expect to stumble along the way and I will have no issue reporting that too. So dont be surprised to find me in this thread talking to myself about what I did that worked or didnt work...hopefully people will read my trials and tribulations and take a clue or two away to help them as well. Mike

Mike, Your doing so well! Keep up the great work. Remember one step at a time. Great job! Josie

Today is better than yesterday. I played some CD's that had nothing but recordings of thunderstorms, rain and woodland streams on them yesterday at work in my office. (sounded like a jungle in there! :) ) That really helps to settle the nerves and places an overall calm on the days events. I also went to lunch with my co-workers. I made myself go out to a social meeting last night after work. I set a time limit to be out and adhered to it. It was useful knowing that I would be home at a specific time and helped me tolerate being out for a few hours. I actually found myself enjoying it. I also looked around the house and dug up a couple of projects that I have been wanting to do. This will give me purpose for my non-working hours. And it is something I want to do, not an obligation that needs to be fulfilled....it is all about ME. Big mental difference there. Anyway, im feeling kind of spritely today! I want everyone to have a great day today. Just force yourself to do something you like and I think it will snowball! Mike

I woke a 1/2 hour early today. When I saw the clock I dreaded it, I just knew I would lay in bed and ruminate for those 30 minutes but instead I reached over and grabbed my headphones and played a CD that has the sounds of a rainstorm in the forest on it. It was very calming and next thing I know the alarm went off and I hopped out of bed to start my daily routine. So far, Im doing protty well today. Im off to have a good day today and I wish the same for all of you! Mike

This morning seems to be better. The anxiety is not as much on the edge as it has been. I had an episode last night in the shower. After it passed I told myself "That is quite enough" and continued to talk to myself about how I wasnt going to allow this screw up my life anymore. All well and good of course but very much like a new years resolution, I need to keep after it. I listened to a morning Yoga/affirmation program before getting out of bed this morning and it seems to help somewhat. Im just going to to keep plodding along here, reporting in this thread to keep a sort of diary. Anyone doing a search on my username will discover that I did this same thing almost a full year ago. I have begun to examine if there is a "time of year" connection. So, today is better than yesterday...thats a good thing. Have a great day and kick anxiety out the door! Mike

Thanks for the responses. It helps me to type here. [quote] It's almost as if the mind has forgotten how to wind down after the event. [/quote] Exactly! Lots of energy with no direction. Well, sooner or later it will find something to latch onto. In my case it is always the exact same thing. I have discussed this with a therapits till I am blue in the face and they are red in the ears...but the same preposterous thought will wind up being the basis for my anxiety. I can write about my feelings here to guys and save 90 bucks! :) I find it fascinating that I chose something to agonize over that I have absolutely no control over. I feel I must do this intentionally. If I agonized over something like "Is the clubhouse door locked?" I could just eliminate that anxiety by physically checking (I realize that peole with OCD could not do this), but by concerning myself with the motives of a stranger walking down the street (not really my concern but very close), I have deliberatly chosen a subject where the resolve is completely out of my control. [quote] ...when i've had major stresses in the past while i've been suffering with this condition, it's almost as if the panic goes away for that very short time... [/quote] Precisely! People dont realize that when we have something like [b]organizing a childs party[/b] and [b]arranging refreshments for the garden society meeting[/b] and a [b]teacher conference[/b] already on our plate then by adding something as simple as a [b]phone call to City Hall[/b] to get a permit to use the park may well be the thing that pushes us into the "zone'. To them is is a smple phone call, and in reality thats all it really is. But when we complete that task,the energy and stress we have gathered from needing to do it focuses itself somewhere else...almost always in a negative place. I have found that low doses of Xanax help me through the few weeks until I level off again. Sure, Xanax makes you groggy its true, but Id rather be groggy than holed up in my room , missing life and worrying about things that I know logically will never happen. I think the way to beat this is to somehow reduce the stress that comes prior to the anxiety. I dont mean by taking on less stuff (though that would be one answer) but more

or share your duties, sounds more of a plan of action to me mike. True what you say about the hectic times not hitting home until after its over. It's almost as if the mind has forgotten how to wind down after the event.I think this must be a common thing, because it's the same with me also. I'd even go as far as to say, that when i've had major stresses in the past while i've been suffering with this condition, it's almost as if the panic goes away for that very short time, its not until the stress is over, that i then pay the price for getting so upset, or whatever. I think thats why the stress gets you, it a bit sneaky really. You think you are coping ok, then you find out after that you're not. Best wishes Mudslinger uk