I think everyone's slip when they have one is as individual as their quit is. For me I was battling things every minute of every day for several weeks - and I was simply tired of all this fighting going on to stay afloat. But then I found that smoking of course did NOT answer the bigger questions and it certainly didn't give me any answers to the way my life has been.
I could go into some very deep and detailed reasons why I fell from grace.. and no one will ever accept my reasons because everyone believes that there is NO REASON to ever smoke again. All I know is that through my slip, through my tears, through my writing in my journal I discovered so many things about my life.. about 'Monica', about not dealing with issues that have been cropping up time after time (repeat offenders as I refer to them).
So what can I say? I slipped.. In hind sight was it worth it -- hell no! Did I need to reaffirm all the reasons why I didn't want to smoke? YES! Did I add new things to my list of reasons of why I want to quit? YES! Was I becoming too complacent? In all likelihood yes..but the tiredness, the depression was sooo bad...
I went into a deep funk weeks before the slip occurred but I simply got worse and worse over time and shoved it under the rug instead of confronting it dead on.
Bottom line - I restarted my quit and I'm doing all that I can do, in the best way I can do it. I've revamped many issues here at home, as well as in my attitude, including finding help from another site. I learned a lot about me starting from my 1st quit on Oct.31st and now I've learned more.
I'll say one thing.. I am human.. I have faults.. My life is damn hard.. and I fell.. NOW I'm back up and ready to hit that nicodemon with more armour than I had in the past 66 days.
Some may not agree with me.. but hey, we're all entitled to our own opinion and no one can live in another's shoes. Life is always going to throw us a curve and I've had many... Life goes on and so does my quit.
Monica58
[IMG]http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o304/Monica58/Angel.gif[/IMG]
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/5/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 31
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $9
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B
