I didn't get to read anyone's response last night because I literally had to lock myself in my bedroom. That was easy to do since I've never smoked in my house anyways due to my youngest being so sick because of second hand smoke (my mother's). I have a hole in the wall to fix but its cheaper on my health than if I was to pick up that one lousy stinking cig. I guess I'm lost for words because I've also drained myself mentally. I really do hate those moments :mad: I just felt so out of it last night like I had totally forgotten why I took this path in the first place. I re-read my reason but for some reason last night it wasnt being obsorbed in my thought process. CobenFan, you are still right, I woke up this morning and yes, my car still needs fixed. Having a smoke wouldn't have changed it and I now want to scream to every one thinking of smoking, DONT DO IT. DONT EVER TAKE THAT FIRST PUFF. Dang things aught to be considered illegal. I keep watching my "Cigarettes Not Smoked" meter going and going and honestly I never realized how much I smoked. in 9 days I smoked over 200 cigs. Pathetic. My husband gave me a gift this morning for holding out on making a mistake last night. He said tomorrow (my 10th day) he is taking me out to buy an entire outfit (woohoo) including shoes. If you knew me real well, I loveeeeeeeeeee clothes. Also, he and I have started planning a 6 month reward so that way we have a reminder to keep our heads up high and out of the smoke. I'm actually loving the fact that I wont be tempted as much in restaurants or bars here in Colorado because our smoking ordinance starts July 1st (part of Colorado already does this, but Littleton finally joins our way of thinking) :p It wont be as easy to access that puff a person feels they need. I'm scared about the weekend as my mom still smokes and it does worry me. I'm not going to deny that. But I also know I can't avoid it either since its my dad's day on Sunday. Thanks for all the support. I'm actually going to direct my mental tiredness (probably not even a word but at this point who cares) to working for the first time in 9 days (well, fully working). Love all you who have continued to give me so much emotional support and the fact you would kick my toosh if I did smoke. S
