Martha- I think those are good words for people like Phillip (like yours truly) who tend to analyse things (sometimes to death)in the grand search for self-awareness. It's a blessing and a curse. I wish I could just turn it off; but while I don't have the luxury of that switch, sometimes doing "thoughtless" things IS good therapy. Something to get my mind off the crave in my lungs (hard to describe)- something childishly innocent like "swinging the cat(in my case) around the living room" (which Buster loves, btw)- mindless, effortless. It does help.
In this addiction, I think there are a variety of levels. Some people drink, for example, to calm down or open up to others. Maybe abstinence (for them) is not such a great undertaking -they can do it with mild "sense of loss" or inconvenience. Then there are those who "have to" drink just to feel "normal"- to just be able to function. Oh , it certainly didn't start out that way, but over time with lots of conditioning... I hate to admit it(what weakness), but smoking to me was more like that. I still crave a lot. Sorry- I know I'm hardly an example to the "newbies".
But I have found solace in "mindlessness", like Martha is getting at. I can't "think-it" away. Being aware of it makes it worse sometime.
Anyway- this isn't about me....hope you're ok, Phillip. Hang tough!
Tomorrow is another day. Swing the dog! ;p
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 110
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,432
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $990
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41
