Hi m, thanks for sharing. A bit scary to me that you still had those thoughts while on meds? Those are the thoughts that send me spiralling :(. I'm trying to remember for sure if I had them while on ADs.
To answer your questions, I don't have much faith in doctors. This is the third one I've had since it all began less than 4 years ago. The last one didn't even bother sending a note or nothing. I called for an appt and was told he was gone, there would be another doctor taking his place in a bit over a month. I went to see her, she seems soooo young, and not very thorough, but I dunno.
Why did I wean myself off? A few reasons. Side effects such as vivid dreams, waking up exhausted in the morning lol, affecting my memory and focus, and at some point it didn't seem to work as good but.. and I guess the most important part, I must have felt good enough to risk trying without the meds!
And whether I tried different meds, I first started with I think it was Celexa, it turned me inside out, and I also took some anxiety meds when I first started to take off the edge. I still take Clonazepam once in a while when needed. And zopiclone for sleep also when needed, very seldom.
They tried to add Wellbutrin to my Effexor, but I didn't react good to it. It was to help with the anxiety.
I don't know what triggers those thoughts, and sometimes wonder why I'm the only one in the world to even wonder and worry about it, why is the rest of the world 'blissfully' not even thinking about it lol. That's scary. What is wrong with me, why do 'I' think about it.