HOWDY!

Llama and gabs, thanks for your warm welcome. re: ortho therapy. I know this aint mainstream thinking and most health professionals balk at the notion, but I am prepared to test it out before I try ADs. I will do my best not to evangelise the approach as there's nothing more boring than a convert. But I will let you know how it's going along the way, if you don't mind. Gabs, I couldn't agree more that if something is working for you that's the only important criterion. My main weapon in the past has been willpower and I've tried enough to know full well that if the tank is empty the car won't move. We just end up beating ourselves even more for not sticking to this or that resolution. Even worse, because, as humans, we have some pretty complex electric wiring running the machine, if that's misfiring it could be moving us backwards when we're in drive. What we all need is a circuit-breaker. It makes sense to me that biochemical circuit-breakers are much more efficacious than behavioural ones at the outset precisely because they do not require us to use our defective thinking to change the way we think. Theoretically, SSRIs/SNRIs and targeted nutritional therapy are both circuit-breakers. I'm working with the idea now that once the circuit is sufficiently broken we then have the opportunity to re-wire and re-train ourselves - and for me, that's where the real work now is. I only started the program on this site yesterday. I am really driven by curiosity as to whether it can work. From the stories I've been reading here it makes me hopeful. I hope we can all give each other some leverage along the way. PS Llama - knowing nod on the Salinger ref. ;)

Holden welcome. Havent tried orthomolecular, but hope it works for you. I have tried just about every alternatives for back pain there is. From osteopathy to faith healing so I understand your quest for help other than medication. Basically it all boils down to one thing. Does it work for you? It took me a while to accept that i would be on medication for the rest of my life, and now possibly medication for the depression. I didnt enter into it lightly as like most people i was largely unaware of the depths that i had sunk. I have also tried and failed at c.B.T. The anti depressants have given me back some life. I am by no means over the hurdle yet and seem to be stuck on session three of the program but with the help of others on this site I am still alive, progressing slowly, and even have the odd good day. Yes a whole day. Up to last week it was hour by hour. Now its day by day. Keep posting you will have some great responses from your fellow members. Dont hold back and they will put you right along the way. Good Luck.x

Holden, Good that you joined and posted yesterday. I wish you luck with the orthomolecular diet. You're a courageous person not to have sought the help of SSRIs up to now and I understand the holistic need to fight depression with every other possible curative method available. Forgive me for saying so, but I think that you are so aware of your physiology in general that you would be amazed what an SSRI could do for you to level out the heights and depths of depression and anxiety and give you freedom to tackle the CBT aspects of your psychology. From the Greek gods to the San tribespeople in Botswana, we have all suffered from depression impressed on us by circumstances - we all seek an elixir to brush away the fog and confusion; I only found stability after years of self medicating when I stopped the booze and the opiates (for chronic pain) and worked my reality with an SSRI! I'll be very interested to hear what you gain in the long run from this diet you're on now... keep saving the children in the rye!

Thanks Josie. Will do. I began the program today and I'll stick to it. I do have a tendency to start new things with enthusiasm only to drop it suddenly, so I'll be on the lookout for that point.

Holden, Welcome to our support community! It can make a difference and we can help. Our program can help challenge those negative thoughts and progress you every step of the way. The members here are amazing and can be of great assistance to you. They offer awesome support and share their experiences. We can all learn from one another and we are here to guide you through. Take the time to work through the program and use the available tips and tools to help you :) Josie, Support Specialist

Hi all. I have just started the CBT program here and I have been flicking thru the discussions here with interest and some hopefulness. I'm very happy to have found this site and I admire the courage of everyone here who is fighting the good fight. I am a little wary of any therapy method as I have tried many (including some CBT) in the past with no substantial success. But I am now trying to approach things with a new attitude. I am not in therapy now but I am looking for a good shrink. This is how I stumbled on this site and thought I'd give it a try while I look. A little about me... I have struggled with the black dog since the age of 14 (am 36 now), and with panic attacks and general/social anxiety since 18 or so. For many years I didn't look for treatment. Despite being aware that I had real mood problems, I tended to convince myself that I could overcome it with enough effort and by just "getting my **** together". I have gone from being a young guy with massive ambition and hope for the future, adventurous, pretty successful with girls ('till I left high school), to being socially isolated, relatively unemployed, single for many years and unable to conceive of a good future for myself. Since the age of 27, when my symptoms became very acute, I have been trying, one way or another, to overcome my mood problems and get my joie de vivre back. I have tried psychotherapy (the psychodynamic kind a la Sopranos), CBT (but only a few sessions as it was out-of-pocket), self-help via books and my own research (I know more about the cutting edge research in psych than some psychologists I know), exercise, yoga, self-hypnosis, career counselling... everything, it seems, but meds. A couple of months ago I spoke to my brother (a health professional) about trying an antidepressant. Thus was a big shift for me - a sign of desperation as I am extremely skeptical about side effects etc. My brother, whose field is in holistic medicine, did some research and discovered the field of orthomolecular therapy. This is basically treating mental health issues with nutrition and personalised supplements based on various tests. I have been on this program for about 6 weeks with a little benefit (I'm told it takes 3-12 months before full benefits can be gauged), but I am extremely hopeful for the treatment. I can see, however, that although my awful insomnia has been diminished dramatically and I can feel greater energy levels, I still have many, many emotional and behaviour issues that I have to deal with head-on. So I am now looking to get back on the therapy train. I am looking for a psychologist and/or method in which I can deal with these things ad I am also trying to make some lifestyle changes. Sorry to go on and on. I'll leave it there. Really just want to say hello and I look forward to joining in the discussion. Holden