Geez, seems I learn something every day here! :) The phone? I hate it. Refuse to get a cell phone, screen all my calls, avoid it like the plague. No reason like you have, Wildcat, and didn't even realize it was an anxiety thing till I read what you all had to say. I love technology ... the idea of a phone, iPod, net connection makes me almost delerious -- until I realize I'd have to answer the damn thing if it rang. LOL Talk to someone on the phone? Nope ... I'll skip it and just be jealous when I see the commercials on TV. Effexor ... It sounds like lots of you have good luck with it. Prozac has been my friend ever since it came out. It's a miracle drug for me. Over the years I've ranged in dosage -- same as you DL -- but any time I've gone off it, I've gone off the rails almost immediately. My doc decided to try Effexor last fall. Yi. That one was a bad idea. I took the drugs even though it made me feel dizzy and weird. Sometimes antidepressants take a while to adjust to and I knew that. Unfortunately I should have been paying closer attention. I ended up passing out, cracking my head, we had to call 911 and I was sitting there nude while the paramedics examined me. Of course I wouldn't go to hospital, but the doc took me off the Effexor immediately. Didn't even taper it. I guess the lesson for me is to pay close attention to symptoms when I try anything new. What works for one person may not work for me ... a friend has been taking Effexor for ages and it works awesome for her. NullPointer ... she forgets to take hers too, btw. I kinda wonder if it's got something to do with the medication itself? I never, ever forget my Prozac. Who knows, eh? I hope things are going better at your job. I do get how tough it is to try to cover the cost of meds. I'm fortunate enough to be on disability and have the majority of my meds paid now, but before I got my disability through it was a huge strain on the budget. Are there no gov't programs available for you?

Hi Nullpointer I think this is a great idea that gabs has given - to write the feelings down. I would find myself going to the doctor and, because of my warped thinking, I didnt want to "let the doctor down" and wanted her to think I was making progress ... weird, huh? ... so I would tell her I was feeling better blah blah, when i knew that I had been awful. I felt guilty if i was telling her that I was worse. Also, as you seem to have experienced, one minute I can feel like I am coping and then, just one small thing can knock me back and I don't know when that will be. So, I am going to try and keep notes of my feelings as much as I can. I am on Effexor and have worked up to taking 300mg now, so I guess I must be a real 'psycho wacko' ;) I take the XR and I take it once a day about 5pm - I had been taking it later at night but, strangely, that made me more tired the next day. I am guessing this just depends on the way your metabolism reacts with it (?) Just to reassure you, though, the doctor did say that I could take 2 150g doses each day. I took Citalopram before Effexor and was yawning all the time and too tired to be able to do anything. The side effects I have experienced are sweating a lot after doing practically nothing, tiredness, thirst and weight gain (how I wish it was weight loss!!). If I don't take my tablet at the right time, within a few hours I get a headache and a slightly anxious feeling (probably that is just a concern from not having taken my tablet). However, the Effexor has helped me cope. I have had times when I had felt like I am getting back to normal and that the real me that is hidden under there is coming out. I can get up and do things (not every day but most) and I can sometimes meet with people. I've also had problems with the phone because I'm concerned that I would get emotional or 'make a mistake' whereas chat, emailing, messaging are all much easier as I can take time over my responses and feel more in control and rational. If I have to make a phonecall, I write down what I need to say and tick it off. I see the medication as a long-term thing that is just there in the background to help me get sorted out. It's like a car ... you have to keep putting petrol in to get going ... once you've got your tank filled, you can decide which direction to go but might have to keep putting more petrol in to get there (sorry, bit cheesy, I know!) ;) Enough of my ramblings for now. You deserve to be well and happy and your health is the number on priority Galadriel x

Nullpointer, when you do go to see your doctor just write it all down. That way you know you wont forget anything and also wont be so anxious in case you cry. I know the feeling is just terrible, My doctor is getting used to me presenting her with a letter! It seems to work though. The expense of it all is a terrible factor we have to take into account. Its our health after all, the most valuable thing we have. Without it you cant work. Just a vicious circle. Good luck keep postingxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks gabs. That's a good idea to write it down. The time I went to see doc before this week I was in such a predicament where I couldn't talk because I was going to cry. then I got over it after the nurse left, but then I got very angry for having to wait in the room for so long when the Doc came in I couldn't talk for being so mad. No, if I go see the doc it will cost more money and I am already in a mess financially. I'm doing OK with my best guess and I'm feeling pretty good too. I'm supposed to go back in a month, so I'll talk to him about it then. Which reminds me, I hope he doesn't keep wanting to see me every month. Used to be every three months, but I think he thinks I'm going to stop taking my medicine again.

nullpointer, I am very concerned for you. I too along with others have problems with the phone as I feel i will start to cry. Last week I had to see a new doctor, the anxiety was overwhelming, I thought that i would never be able to tell her my story in the allocated time and that i would just cry and make no sense during the whole appointment. What did I do? well i wrote it all down. From when it 1st started, my feelings then, my feelings now, the fact that i was trying to work the program on line. I would suggest that you do the same. Please write down all your concerns, your worries over your medication everything. Read it over and try to write it again in a logical way, i had to do that or it would have been pages long! And then when you have your appointment just tell the Doctor that you feel so bad you couldnt face telling them whats wrong so you have written it down. It works. Please try it. Go back to your doctor you need to get the medication right. good luck and keep posting.

hi guys, from what I have seen it is very! common amounst those with anxiete disorders.

Null, It is great that you made thought so much about this and have made a decision. I still however strongly suggest you to get in touch with you doctor somehow (possibly email or an in-person visit) to double check that your prescription is right. It is important that you take the dosage that he has prescribed as it is what he thinks is best for you. You don't want to have a negative reaction to the medicine, it is supposed to help you not make you feel worse. As for the fear of the telephone; it is common with panic and depression to associate some kind of fear to the telephone. You may assiciate the phone with many bad conversations that you have had or even because you were experiencing high stress levels in your life during a time you were making a lot of calls. No matter what the reason it is imporant to challenge these negative associations to the phone and work to overcome them. Brenna, Bilingual Support Specialist

wow. I thought I was the only only one who dreaded making and taking phone calls. And I thought it was because of the call that told me my brother had killed himself. At least it started then and my heart would race every time the phone rang. I am better at it now (37 years later) I can answer the phone without fear. But I find it hard to even call my children and friends. Is this common among depressives??

I have a hard time talking to people. I guess I'm afraid of what they will think of me and I'll sound stupid. It's the same in doing business. The only way I ever talk to people is over email. Very rarely do I have enough nerve to answer the phone or use it to make a call. I decided not to call. I don't have anyone who will call for me either, so I decided that I'm just going to take the regular effexor. If I run out before I have enough money to get a refill I'll just use the rest of the effexor xr and pretend that it's the same as the regular. What's really silly here is that I get so tied up with simple decisions that really don't matter. The worst that could happen is that I get too much in my system. And what if I do? Certainly I'd only have bad reactions for a day or two and then I'd be fine. I need to have more courage and stop getting hung up on things that really don't matter. Now I really do appreciate you all taking your time to talk to me on here and I do appreciate your advice. It's just that I worried about what to do about these two different kinds of medicine for HOURS. Sometimes when stuff like this happens I'll stay up all night just thinking about an issue like this and I've spent days analyzing and worrying about dilemmas similar to this one. I got onto myself pretty hard. I said,"just make a freaking decision and move on! Do you really want to waste a whole evening of time with your family worrying about the difference between two kinds of pills? Dude, it just doesn't matter that much!" So I made myself decide. That's what I'm going to do. Maybe some of the meds and CBT are helping me come to my senses about some things. Maybe this is one more little aspect of how my life is getting better. Thanks and I'll be back around later today. See ya!

hi nullpointer, I know the feelings of fear and anxiete. i have been going to a self-help group for some time now. It is not! easy to overcome the fears but part of the problem with anxiete and fear is if you do not confront them the grow all out of proportion and take over your life and if you do not confront them they distroy your self-esteem (so the anxiete and depression grow). It is the phone or the communication that is phobogenic? if it is the phone can you go over to the drug seller and talk face-to-face? if it is the communication, can you talk if accompagnied? are you more comfortable with the doctor, nurse or other professional who is not "selling" the product? There are some good sites that explain medications properly like.... healthyplace.... who will even give you the drug's half life and all... if you were to educate yourself as to what you are taking would you feel more confident in talking about the confusion?