Frenchy,
Sounds like you need a shoulder to lean on my friend. Listen, believe me it could be alot worse. Just to give you a little background: I lost my mother when I was 10 (we beleive that my father had something to do with her death), my father had sexual relations with my sister and half-sister (not with me and I thought there was something wrong with me because it did not happen), I was married when I was 19, had two boys, my husband died when my oldest was three and the youngest was one. I did not get any help from anyone because, like you, I do not have any family. A couple years later I lived common-law with an older fellow and he died a year after that with AIDS. You guessed it, he passed it along to me. So now, 15 years later, I still am a single mom infected with HIV. Yes, it is a lonely existance but I have to hang in there for my boys and you do too. You have a wife and kids that love you; be thankful for that. Are seeing a doctor at all? Anytime you need to talk just let me know, I will listen and give you my opinion. Sometimes when you talk about things, it makes it a little better. Take care of yourself and I will talk to you later.
Joegirl